Aim for the stars

March 8,
♀️ International Women’s Day ♀️

March 8 is an important date. It is a day when we celebrate and reflect on what it means to be a woman.
Leading up to this day, our social media feeds, advertising and marketing campaigns, and the blog world are filled with images, stories, and articles about or for women. And it is an important date, since it sheds light on the complicated history of gender from a female perspective, as well as on the current lives of more than half of the world’s population.

In remembrance of those who made it possible

March 8 is also a day to celebrate the change for the better, brought about by women who have challenged the limitations of their time – the culture and the norms in the society they lived in. It is about the women who claimed their right to be themselves.
It’s their willingness to step outside their “designated box” that has made it possible for girls and women to go to school, to vote, and to open their own bank accounts.
Most of us take these things for granted today, but the fierce battles fought by women in the past have made them possible for us. They have earned this special day of gratitude and recognition for their bravery, so costly in blood, sweat and buckets of tears.

For all our tomorrows

March 8 is also a day to reflect on our hopes and dreams for the future.
What is next? What needs to change? What kind of world do we want to create for ourselves and for future generations, both in our personal lives and on a larger scale?
As you know, making any change requires stepping outside our comfort zone, so a good place to start is what is within our personal reach – our perception of ourselves and our world.
It’s from there that we begin to create “a better tomorrow.”

Very far outside my own box…

To celebrate International Women’s Day this year, I will share a speech I gave in Brighton, in November last year. It was an event organised by Eyestorm Women UK: The Future Women Summit.
Perhaps you remember from an earlier blog post how I challenged myself when my friend Mary Lynn invited me to appear on her podcast (Shift Your Energy Now with Mary Lynn).
I wrapped up last year with another nerve-racking growth opportunity. To share what I am passionate about in front of an audience was another giant leap outside my comfort zone. I had never given a speech on stage before. To be able to do this, I needed to tame many an inner demon before I could set foot on that podium.
(I try to walk my talk the best I can 😁)

Before I share the link with you, I just want to let you know that there was a technical snafu during filming at this event, so the end of the speech was unfortunately lost. Therefore, I will share the written version further down.
If you have the patience to read the whole post, there is some gorgeous music waiting for you at the very end.

Here we go…

And here is the written speech… with whimsical drawings and all!

⭐⭐⭐

AIM FOR THE STARS, AND YOU WILL REACH THE TREETOPS….
This I have heard since I was a teenager; whenever I shared dreams and aspirations that were a bit too lofty,

This old saying used to trigger me because what I heard was:
– By all means, have big dreams, but budget for disappointment.
The grander your dreams,  the greater the sadness and embarrassment if you fail.
Even our career counsellor in high school told the kids: YOU HAVE TO BE REALISTIC!!!!

I have always been suspicious of expressions like this one that promote moderation – is it to avoid too much ruckus in society?
What would happen if everyone went for the stars and refused to be content with the treetops?
THAT WOULD CREATE HAVOC!!!!

In close relationships, among family and friends, the line between wanting the loved ones to be happy and the need for one’s own security and control can be very blurry.
If you go off chasing your dream, what will happen to ME?
In retrospect, I realise how cheeky my choice to become an astrologer is. I can hang out with the stars all the time!
What a nightmare that would have been for our poor high school career counsellor…

If you, for a moment, return to your wildest and most delicious dream. Are you living that dream?

If you are – well done!

Or have you kept it hidden in your heart because you are afraid to be judged for wanting too much, or are you worried that the world would laugh at you?
And yet, you still hold on to the hope that SOMEDAY you will make it happen. You feel that buzz of joy in your body when you think about what you would love to be, do or have…

Or, does the memory of that wild and juicy dream create a feeling of hopelessness, even frustration or anger? Your reality is so far from where you would like to be, so it is better not to think about it.

Whether you are a” somedayer” or the “given-uper”, I would like to ask – what stopped you from going after that dream?

After almost 20 years of working with clients one-on-one, I have realised that most of us live our lives a bit backwards. We let others’ opinions and worldviews define us. We listen to and adapt to what others decide that we are or what we are capable of, and then we behave accordingly.

Many of us take on others’ fears about the world, and we unconsciously make those fears our own.
And many of us shrink before others’ need for control or their power hunger, so we obey, and we give our power away.

An important turning point is to discover where we let others’ definition of the world become more important than our own.

WHERE DO WE ALLOW OTHERS TO DECIDE HOW MUCH SPACE WE TAKE UP IN OUR OWN LIVES? WHO DECIDES THAT WE ARE TOO BIG FOR OUR BOOTS?

Before we have a clear understanding of this, we will continue to ask for permission, we will barter, or rebel, hoping that the world will give us the consent to be who we are.
Not until we become aware of this can we walk towards our most heartfelt dreams with the expectation of succeeding.
This is what I mean when I say we live our lives backwards.
It’s not others’ acceptance we need. The only permission we actually need is our own.

So, how do we turn things right again?

From my own personal experience and my client work, I have found that we need to change the way we see ourselves, and then the rest will follow.
We will never be able to convince everyone else that we are worthy and capable.
It is only from within ourselves that we can stand firmly in our own power. It is from there that we shape our outside reality.

Trying to change our environment without changing our beliefs about ourselves is as futile as standing in front of a mirror and asking the image of ourselves to move while we remain still.
To make the reflection of us change in the mirror, we need to change.  

Think about this for a moment.
No one has control over your mind and heart.
No one can stop you from feeling what you feel or thinking what you think.
Whatever your life situation looks like on the outside, no one can stop you from respecting yourself or loving yourself on the inside.
AND you don’t have to share your feelings or thoughts with another living soul.  

And the beauty is that what goes on in your mind and heart will eventually become visible in the reflection of you in the mirror.

And others’ perception of you and their behaviour towards you are based on that reflection.

On the inner, we stand in our full power.
To be able to access that power, we need to discover who we are.
We need to really listen to our inner dialogue because that will give us clues where we need to change.
We need to investigate where and why we abandoned ourselves for acceptance’s sake.

There are parts within that need healing; parts of us who need explanations, consolation and perhaps forgiveness.
Which tools are the best for our healing depends on our personality. It can be an exploration in solitude or through conversations with people we trust. Sometimes we might even need professional assistance.

Personally, I think that our wildest, most delicious dreams are gifts we have given ourselves. Only that kind of passion and intensity can push, nudge, lure and carry us through the resistance within. Only our deepest longing is intense enough to give us the courage and strength to heal ourselves and to become brave enough to see what we are actually capable of.  

So brush the dust off that delicious dream, or find a new one. Give yourself another chance. Find the thoughts, the feelings and the experiences that stop you from moving toward it – and heal them one at a time.

And back to that expression that made me cringe as I grew up. I found that one version comes from a loving father who believed in his daughter unconditionally. He said, “Aim for the stars, so that you can reach the treetops, and at least you’ll get off the ground.”

And off the ground his daughter got, and over the treetops, and she has shown all of us how to reach the stars.
Dr Shirley Ann Jackson is the first African American woman to have earned a doctorate at MIT, and the first woman ever to get it in physics (in a branch I cannot even pronounce). She is the first woman of colour to have led a top-ranked research university. And she has accomplished many more incredible things that have benefited us all while aiming for HER stars.
She followed her dreams, and look where that took her!

So, see yourself living your best life, because if you can dream it, you can create it!
And make sure to find shoes that fit your feet!!!!

⭐ ⭐ ⭐

I hope I have been able to tickle your imagination into dreaming your wildest, most joyful dreams about your future.

And now it’s time for music!

I am bones, and I am skin
I am home, where life begins
I’ve started wars, I’ve given peace
Across the ocean, I carry the seed
I’m your lover
I’m your mother
I’m your sister
I’m your daughter

(Song of Women by The Hu)

❤️ I wish you a happy International Women’s Day ❤️
Enjoy!