A bit of lovin… Part 3

To keep us safe…

Hi guys, and welcome back to my little mini-series. Today I will share how you deliberately can change your energy field to stop attracting what you do not want and begin to attract that which you want more of in your life.

When we are ready to see, it’s everywhere…

Many years ago, I had an epiphany about the relationships in my life. At that time, I realized I was attracting a very unhealthy kind of people. Of course, many were kind, friendly, and loving, but the percentage of the opposite was too high to be a coincidence – it was a trend.

They showed up as colleagues at work, maybe not so surprising since most of us do not choose our professional relationships, but they came very close. Surprised, I found them on my treatment bed, ready for a healing session. Or I suddenly detected them in my private sphere, and many had been there for a very long time. It felt as an awakening to a parallell reality. How could I have missed this for so long?

Behind the masks

When I met new people I found it tricky to separate healthy from unhealthy contacts. All seemed nice at first, and then the fangs showed, but then it was too late.

Nor did I know how to get rid of the ones who had already sunken their teeth into me. I urgently needed an efficient method to spot potential ones at an early stage. (And garlic had no effect whatsoever…)

I asked for advice, and in a channeled text, I received the following statement together with a long explanation.

It’s love that will keep you safe

-Yea, right! That is easy for you to say!

It felt as if I was given a new age-y quote, when I was in desperate need of a sword to defend myself. It took me some time to understand how these words could be used to change my situation.

This period of clear observation came before I fully had understood how our inner world attracts our outer reality. At that time, the law of attraction was an intellectual concept to me, rather than a force constantly switched on. I suspect it was Life gift, to teach me this particular lesson.
What the text pointed out was the need for awareness of which frequency I was sending out. It set me off on a long journey of discovery to understand the energetic field in general and my own in particular. And with time, I really understood the brilliance of this simple message.

It was my own love I needed to install in my energy field (not very different from installing a firewall in your computer). I also needed to find a way to protect the parts within me that seemed so juicy and delicious to some. I had to become “less appetizing” to this particular type of people, who left me so drained.

Someone else’s love can never replace our own. To have people loving us is one of life’s greatest gifts, but to rely on and be tempted to hide behind a bunch of “love-bodyguards” will still not be enough to keep us safe. We will be depending and clinging on to something outside of us.

Someone else’s love can never replace our own.

So, I started to examine my thoughts, feelings and beliefs. I questioned everything. I looked at the stories I used to tell myself to find the markers attracting these persons, events, and experiences.

In which situations did I give away my power? Together with whom did I feel weak and indecisive? In which situations did I stop believing in myself? What made me stop loving myself? And most important – who, when, and what made me feel good about myself?

I constantly asked myself questions, and I also was very present in my relationships. I did this to better understand what was going on, on an energetic level, to monitor my own behavior, and to discover what was really going on under the surface.

I discovered that whenever I felt a lack of love for myself, it showed up as a glitch in my firewall. It made the system vulnerable and insecure. It was in these moments that I was attracting draining, uneven and unloving relationships.

My efforts paid off! It sure didn’t happen overnight, and the process was really uncomfortable (even tumultuous at times). But I could feel a huge difference and a big relief for each energetic shift I managed to follow through. Those who usually liked to be around me to top-up their energy levels suddenly seemed displeased and irritated. If you are an empath, like me, you know how difficult and unsettling this kind of reaction can be. Some even lashed out at me because they wanted us to get back to how “it used to be”. After a few power-struggles, they started to avoid me. (The Power of love by Frankie Goes to Hollywood)

How could I resist…?

The wonderful thing was that, simultaneously, a new kind of people started to show up in my life, with whom I could build completely different relationships.

Maybe you remember that I wrote about personal power a few blog posts ago? There are insights, skills, and understanding to gain even from these unbalanced relationships – however unpleasant and unworthy they may be – as long as we learn from them and heal from them. Without these relationships we wouldn’t have any mirrors to detect the parts within, in need of understanding, love and healing.

One of the coolest things to experience when it comes to personal growth and inner work is when you stumble into a situation that used to make you fall flat on your face, emotionally. With surprise, you will realize that you now react differently, and you remain steady and grounded in yourself. That is how you can measure your progress and find evidence of growing self-love.

I would like to make a distinction here about self-love. It is not the “let’s-buy-a-new-handbag-kind of love” I mean when I am talking about self-love. It has nothing to do with comforting yourself to feel better. No, it is about a conscious decision to be your own best friend. The friend who always stays by your side, no matter what. The friend who fights together with you, back-to-back, when that is needed. The friend who has the guts to tell you the truth (even if you don’t want to hear it) out of love for you.

Brothers in arms fighting back-to-back

It’s this strong, unconditional love for yourself that will help you stop repeating the same unhealthy story time after time. It’s this love that will assist you when coping with the challanges Life inevitably brings in your way. Challanges that have found you to help you grow and expand in consciousness.

And, most importantly – it is this strong and unconditional love for yourself that will attract people and experiences that will bring love, joy and expansion into your life.

Next time I will wrap up this Valentine theme. How on earth did I think all of this would fit into just one post!!! Even I am a bit surprised by the amount of information I felt compelled to share with you on this topic.

Much love and I hope to see you soon,


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